Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten my lovely forum friends.

I haven't been on for a while as my poor mum is sadly losing her long fight against cancer, she went into St Luke's hospice on Sunday. She lost a kidney to the disease many years ago and we were told that she had tumours on her liver and lung over 3 years ago now. Nobody expected her to fight as long as she has. She has been in and out of hospitals many many times over the last couple of months. Her organs are now starting to fail and it doesn't appear that she will be able to fight back this time.

My lovely Dad, who has chronic asthma and osteoperosis in his spine, has run around caring for mum for months. He has been exhaused himself but has never once missed a hospital visiting time, both afternoon and evening. He even slept beside her on a camp bed when we thought we were losing her a couple of weeks ago. Mum recently got fed up in the hospital and as she could still shuffle a few steps with her walking frame, we made a valiant attempt at caring for her in her home (me, my dad and sister). We had a hospital bed put in the living room and carers came in 3 times a day. Unfortunately, mum went downhill after the first day and couldn't weight bear at all all so had to stay in bed. This was so upsetting for all of us as we could see the strength ebbing from her. Needless to say, we had a few sleepless nights caring for her. We found that mum had a massive abcess in her groin that the hospital hadn't even seen and the nurse found out she had a water infection as well. After 5 days, mum still wasn't improving and took the decision to go in the hospice. She is soooo well looked after in there I can't believe it. It's fantastic to have such a place to support us all at such a sad time.

I've taken a few days off work so I can spend a lot of time with mum but, sod's law, jimmy is off school sick today with a cold and horrendous cough.

I miss 'speaking' to you all but am sure I will find time at some point.

Hope you are all keeping as well as possible.

Juliexx

Julie I am so sorry to hear your mum has become so ill. My friend is caring for her mum at home, and its very hard for both of them. Hospices are wonderful places, there is one called Demelza House in Sydenham, its an amazing place, its a childrens hospice and is a beautiful environment and the staff are wonderful. Your mum will be well
looked after, and you will all be welcome all the time. I hope you can all cope when the time comes. Thinking of you Julie x x x

Edit: My post appeared twice, lap top on the blink.

Julie

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your Mum really is in the right place and it will give all your family the quality time they need to spend with her.

Take care

Jackie
xx

Hello Julie

So sorry to about your troubles, I had wondered when you have not been on for a while.

So sorry that your Mum is so poorly but glad you able to see her as you have been
granted time off. Hospice is a wonderful caring place to be and she will be very
well looked after. Enjoy and cherish your time with her.

Take care and thinking about you

Rose

Thanks so much for your kind replies. Although mum doesn't feel any better health wise, she is really appreciating the lovely nurses, beautiful surroundings and nice food! They really are treating her like a Queen. All the staff from Doctors to domestics are absolute angels. Mum is so much more comfortable.

She has been told that her potassium levels are rising again. (Apparantly this can cause heart failure.) She had treatment in hospital for this a couple of weeks ago and the levels went down. They have told mum that her potassium is on the rise again but that she would have to go back into the Hallamshire hospital to be treated and it would take a good few days. She has decided she is staying where she is. She says she's not ready to die just yet but can't stand the thought of being moved away from the hospice into the stark wards of the Hallamshire. We all resect her decision as she has been through such a lot.

Jim is still off school today but isn't too bad. A chesty cold. I think it was a bit of a blessing in disguise that he was off yesterday as it meant I could actually sit and relax for a while. I don't know if this happens to anyone else but the fatigue suddenly took over and I felt like I had been hit by a train. I could hardly move and felt really 'sicky' tired all day - it was good to be able to give in. I think it was also due to the relief I felt because I knew mum was comfortable. I don't know what I would have done these last few weeks if I wasn't on the Humira. At least I have been able to help with caring for mum, I wouldn't have been able to do this a year ago. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

Julie xx

Hi Julie

I have missed you on the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I know how hard it is. Thank God for Hospices. They are amazing places and very happy places. People are looked after so well and given everything they want and need. What a lovely way to end your days. You couldn't wish for anything better for your mum. I hope you get lots of valuable time together and that when the end does come your mum passes away in her sleep and without pain. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you all.

Love Sheila x

Hello Julie,

Thinking of you at this difficult time. Stay strong.

Take care

Anne x

Julie

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. It's so sad when this happens to our loved ones.

I will be thinking about you and send lots of hugs.

Love Shirley x

I think you need this Julie

Thinking of you.
Love Doreen xx